im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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