Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
