I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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