some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Shame is for Republicans.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
