It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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