I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
