sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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