AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
