sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
