Where is the hickey?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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