i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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