One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Found your dick twin last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
