I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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