i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
