Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
