if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
