Life is so much better after having sex.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
