how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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