I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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