Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
