As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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