He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
