You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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