dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think my vagina is haunted
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
