So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
