Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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