Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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