I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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