She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
