i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
