I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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