with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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