i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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