i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
