Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
