I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
