its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
