Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
