i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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