Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
