I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
