Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
