Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i believe in u and ur pee
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