Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
send nudes
from the living room?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
