Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Farmville is her only friend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
