we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
