sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
