idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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