North Korea, Best Korea!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
