There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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