what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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